#look i know the skeleton is prolly a little off but i am going off vibes alone pls dont yell at me

[purpleghoul87]

Wake up, puppet boy!

Link to the color palette I used.

[sarunohadaki]

DQXI/Great British Bake-Off Crossover

Crossover week: Home | 1 | 2 | 3| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

This story idea in particular is very near and dear to my heart because when I first arrived in the SOS discord server, I mentioned it, and I got to talk with a lot of cool people for a long time about it. A lot of people seemed to love the idea, and Cicada even made art for it! 😭

It’s my favorite crossover idea and would be the most intricate to write. More under the cut because it’s another long post. (very long. With graphics. What is this, an essay?)

Spoilers for a potential future Saru fic.

Funny-but-I’m-not-using-these fic title ideas: Baking Bananaza, Fluff — and not just Meringue

Relationships: Gen or M/M (depending on how heavy the luminerik will come out)

Premise: Erik is a graduate student studying biogeochemistry with a particular interest in peat bogs in the UK. He interviews and gets on the show after Mia nags him to do it in the hopes that it’ll have a monetary reward, but as they soon find out, there’s no money involved. Erik participates anyway, figuring it’ll be a fun thing to do and help him hone his skills for the next time his sister randomly begs him to make éclairs at two in the afternoon.

He doesn’t really know what to expect, having never watched the show before, and is initially a little overwhelmed when he meets other amateur bakers from all over the country.

Twelve contestants enter the tent, but only one will come out on top. Who will it be?

Initial plan is to have none of the characters be related or know each other aside from the twins and Hendrik/Jasper. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have Rab related to El and so on and so forth, but I think it would be funner to have all the characters meet for the first time and develop friendships from there.

Everyone’s occupations are picked directly from my self-indulgent wants, haha.

And then here are some epithets, since the show uses things like this sometimes:

The structure of the fic

I initially thought it would be fun to do it sort of like a screenplay, but I am most comfortable writing in third person limited. BUT when you do it that way, you lose out on all the other disasters that are happening around the tent because you are only seeing what Erik’s seeing. And it would get boring after one episode to tell the reader, “I am now making this cake and following these directions.”

To combat this, I think it would be cool to do the omniscient POV for most of it, with the intention of writing it like an episode on TV. This would be interspersed with Erik’s director cut of events because he and Mia are watching the events play out while watching TV on the couch.

This would give us a chance to have Erik say, “Huh I didn’t realize the workstation behind me was almost literally on fire because I was too distracted trying to not over-mix my batter.” (Or staring distractedly into the back of ur crush’s head in front of you)

Plot

The short of it is you get to see a bunch of characters hang out and bake stuff semi-competitively! The long of it is, well… let me show you.

Each chapter is an episode

The Great British Bake Off usually has about 10 episodes, each with three challenges: the signature, technical, and showstopper. Whoever performs the worst holistically in each episode is eliminated. I have already roughly determined how that will play out based on some things I saw on a wiki. So, here’s the progression as it stands (don’t worry if it looks complicated at first — I can explain!):

To read this chart, each number refers to the episode. So, to see how people performed in episode 1, go to 1 and read down the column. From episode 1, you can see Erik, El, and Hendrik did well, while Ronnie and Faris did not. Vince got booted. Doing things this way, you can see Sylv had a few rough patches before they were eliminated, while El — the sweet boy — was never on the judges’ “least favourite bakers” list (alongside Jade, Rab, or Serena!)

This isn’t the final thing, and maybe there are patches that don’t make sense, but for a skeleton, it’s pretty useful for thinking up interesting plot points.

For example, Vince gets eliminated after baking an unchewable cake, and Sylv keeps pushing the envelope on how flamboyant their bakes can be in showstopper challenges, which lands them in trouble. Veronica really messes up in one episode and makes the food way too spicy.

Recipes

Okay. So you thought that chart was complicated, then behold this! Charts detailing any and every challenge from the Great British Bake Off from series 1-10, including signature, technical, and showstopper challenges with hour constraints where I could find them. Compiled from various wiki pages into one Google doc.

Potential problem: I don’t know if it would be plagiarizing to take various challenges and put them in a fic, and even more worrisome, if I could include recipes or just rip off what former contestants made. To create everything from scratch (pun intended) would take a lot of work. Based on the elimination chart, there are 225 instances of something being baked. Do you know how much work that is. (It goes down to 160 unique dishes when you take into account technical challenges all being the same recipe.)

In recent series (the gbbo say “series” and not “season”), they have had a few episodes such as “the ’80s,” “vegan,” and “forgotten bakes,” along with such classics as cakes, biscuits, etc. Pretty much every season includes the following episodes: Cakes (episode 1), biscuits (2), bread (3), desserts (~4), pastry (~6), patisserie (9), and a final challenge (episode 10). That leaves you with about 3 or 4 unique challenges each series unless you cut out one of those staple weeks, such as pastry. (Also, for anyone wondering the difference between pastry and patisserie: Pastry is a type of dough with fat and patisserie is a style of baking.)

This is where I said things were going to get intricate. Sometimes the details are what really sell a fic for me. Remember the five senses or that random thing that no one cares about but helps fill in the setting or make the story feel more alive. Having a masterful grasp of which characters are cooking what without overwhelming the reader would be difficult. Unlike TV, the reader is keeping track of all of this in their head!

I am no stranger to plopping some HTML into my fics from time to time and maybe that could help? To include graphics of what each person is baking, kind of like those… idk, “recipe blueprints” the narrator talks over where they tell you what the contestant is making and then they give you an illustrated piece of what the dish is supposed to look like.

Anyway, that’s a lot of work and I think just telling the reader, “he’s making this and I’m making this” would prolly suffice.

Why does any of this matter?

Because it’s fun. Because all of the characters will exchange jokes and poke at each other and I had plans to make Jasper and Hendrik have past beef and maybe Jasper throws food at Hennie or something. And also the pining for Elian would be very persistent. Erik and El have some stuff in common and their stations are right next to each other, maximizing the potential for banter and small talk about trying to manage school and this baking show thing at the same time.

In my heart, Erik wins because he’s the one who gets to date El at the end, but El is the hero so I know he’s the one who wins the show. And Hendrik has a secret baking sweet tooth so of course he comes in close third. (That is to prepare Hendrik for baking cakes for Jasper later.)

Unlike 80% of my fic ideas that are fusions, I think this one might be a legitimate crossover with people like Paul Hollywood, Merry Berry, and Noel Fielding. Sylv might slot into being a host, too.

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

[decimadragonoid]

I heard it was Big Red Daddy Bear and Cub Day!

* Happy Belated Father's Day from Underfell! * heh... 'sup, people? happy father's day and all that! fer those o' ya who cherish yer daddies, congratulations! have all the fun ya want. * play a game you both like, give yer dad a present, go out somewhere nice - anythin' you can think of, ya know? hehe! * as fer me, i spent some time with my kid, frisk. as always, petals came along too. we got some watermelon-flavored popsicles at the park on our street. * then we just hung out at the park, talked fer hours, and watched the universe do its own thing.

* heh... nice day fer father and kid time in the park... birds are singin', flowers are bloomin'... * summer really is a nice time to spend with yer kids. * y'know, in life, there are a lotta things that go into bein' a dad. * you can give him all the nicest, most expensive material things in the world, but none o' that compares to havin' the best gift in the world. * and that gift is seein' yer kid grow and decide on what they wanna do in life. * when frisk called me their dad, i honestly didn't know what to think at first. * i thought i was never gonna be ready fer the responsibility, nor did i think i deserve to be someone they could count on since we didn't meet under good circumstances. * y'know... the whole bullshit 'kill or be killed' credo, i mean... i hounded them, tried to pin all my frustration on 'em, bust their chops, and tried scarin' them into leavin' all this shit behind... * but they opened my eyes and helped me see that life really ain't so bad. * plus, frisk had their own share of personal problems in the past before they fell into the underground. * i ain't really keen on goin' into the details 'cuz i swore we'd keep it between us until they feel comfortable enough to share their past with e'rrybody one day... * but what i can say is, in some ways, we're alike. * we both know the world is a cruel-ass place, and sometimes, it brings out the worst in us. but as long as we stick together, we don't hafta fear the worst. * plus, we made friends with like-minded people. tibia honest, fightin' the credo just by settlin' down and changin' myself was prolly the best decision i made in my life. * i owe frisk fer that. * and... well, that's pretty much why i decided i was totally okay with the kid callin' me 'dad.' * kinda felt nice to be looked up to fer once. * the fact frisk counted on me like i was the second father they never thought they had gave me a second chance to change when i needed it most. * and, uh... if yer a dad yerself, and you're listenin' to my ramblin' bony ass, lemme keep it 100 with you and say somethin'. * bein' a dad don't always got anythin' to do with blood or familial ties. sometimes, bein' a dad comes from the heart. or in my case, my soul. * i ain't never gonna take this feelin' fer granted. i depend on frisk just as much as they depend on me. if they ever need me fer anything, i'll take one o' my shortcuts and come runnin'.

* and that's why today, i hold my skull up with pride, and say, 'i'm the big, red father bear, and this human kid is my little cub. we may be different races, but that don't mean shit to me. if my kid is happy, i'll be happy with them. if my kid needs someone to talk to when they're sad, i'll be their listener. if they wanna learn somethin' from me, i'll teach them. if they do somethin' stupid, i'll make certain they don't do it again. if they make a mistake, i'll forgive them. if they need shelter from the storm, i'll be their refuge. when they find somethin' they wanna do in life, i'll support them to the very end. when they're ready to leave the nest, i'll give 'em the extra push they need to take the next step into their full adulthood. frisk is my kid. i love 'em, and i'll always be proud of 'em fer who they are, and who they choose to be! and if anyone doesn't appreciate my kid, or just wanna talk shit to 'em and try to bring 'em down, then they can kiss my bony ass!' * happy father's day. ======== It's been years since I've done an Underfell roleplay piece! I was actually thinking of making this piece for Father's Day this past Sunday, but I didn't get a chance to make it until now. It's still two days past Father's Day, so THAT will suffice. Frisk wears outfits accordingly depending on the season, but Sans is a different case. Since Sans is a skeleton, he can't feel warmth or cold. Plus, he's actually pretty fond of his rugged detective-like appearance to the point where he doesn't really care if it's out of season. Some people look at him with funny looks because of this, but he ignores them anyway. Bottom line is, if it fits, he'll wear it. Screw opinions! The watermelon-flavored popsicles were deliciously fun to make. I kinda want one myself, but I'd probably be better off finding them at the market rather than a stand since the pandemic's still in full effect. Well, whatever. Without further ado, it's roleplaying time! ========= Underfell Sans, Frisk © underfell.tumblr.com/ Undertale © Toby Fox ================================ This fanart was not made in an attempt to catfish anyone, which I am highly against. This was only drawn for the sake of having fun roleplaying as a fictional character and interacting with others in a positive manner. This was also not drawn to be sexually explicit. I simply drew this because art is my passion, and this is one of the steps I'm taking to improve my art style. I also don't ship Sans or anyone with Frisk, not even their Underfell counterparts. Emphasis on DON'T. I see them all as a family they never thought they could ever have. Furthermore, this roleplay was not made for taking sides with Frisk or Chara, any other characters, or any of the game's routes and mechanics. ======== Support me on Ko-Fi here: ko-fi.com/decimadragonoid Or, if you'd like, please consider supporting me on Patreon! www.patreon.com/decimadragonoid

[thewritewolf]

Nino’s Quest Chapter 9: At the Gates

The party finds the lair of the Necromancer and struggle to find a way in. Their righteous quest quickly devolves into a cuddly sleepover.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3. My ko-fi.

The wind was howling as Nino and Alya approached the bakery. Winter was well and truly here, but that wasn’t too surprising. It was the last week of November, after all. Nino looked up at the grey skies and frowned as a few stray snowflakes danced to the ground. They had gotten lucky so far with very little snow, but something in his gut was telling him that wasn’t going to last much longer. Just in case, Nino had brought a change of clothes. Who knows if they were going to get snowed in? Especially given how long this session was going to last.

It wasn’t every day they marched into the halls of the Necromancer, after all.

For now, though, they marched into the bakery.

“So… how’d it work out yesterday? I didn’t see much of them after we let ‘em out,” Nino whispered to Alya as they waved at the Dupain-Cheng parents.

She poked her head into the living room and turned to look at him with a wide grin. “See for yourself, babe.”

The two of them were sitting on the couch playing Ultimate Mecha Strike. Despite the fact that the entire couch was open to them, Marinette was practically sitting in Adrien’s lap. His arms were wrapped around her and his chin rested on her head. For a few solid moments Nino was left stunned at the threshold of the room, staring in awe. At least until Alya jabbed him in the back with her elbow.

His startled yelp caught Adrien’s attention. A bright smile lit up his face. “Awesome timing, guys! We were just about to decide who was the absolute master of Mecha Strike.”

“It was me,” came Marinette’s reply as the victory screen played.

“As if there was any doubt,” Adrien murmured. Closing his eyes, he nuzzled his nose into the crown of her head.

“Hey! That tickles.”

“Too bad.”

“Well,” Alya cut in, “if you two are done being sickeningly cute, we’ve got a Necromancer to stop. In case you forgot?”

“I know, I know. Fighting evil, saving lives - the usual.” Adrien didn’t open his eyes or loosen his hold on Marinette, but Nino could see the knowing smirk on his face.

“Speaking of the usual…” Marinette said as she extracted herself from Adrien. “How does croissants for everyone sound?”

Alya followed after Marinette, leaving Nino to start getting set up. It wasn’t hard to miss the dopey smile that his best bud wore, or how he was almost melted into the couch. Even though that had been the plan all along, Nino was still surprised it actually worked.

“So… you and M, huh?”

“Mhm…” The smile grew wider.

“Dude, you’ve got it bad. I’m just glad you guys finally figured it all out.”

“Yeah…”

“Mind telling me what happened?”

Adrien shrugged. “We just needed to talk things through. That’s all.”

“Sure, dude.” Nino softly punched Adrien on the arm. “Just took a locked door and a bunch of time to make you do that.”

A blush spread across Adrien’s face. “We got there eventually..”

As much as Nino wanted to pry or tease a little more, he was just glad to see his friend so happy. Those two definitely deserved each other.

Just as he finished setting up, the girls returned with a plate of fresh croissants. The perfect food for planning an invasion.

“Alright, my dudes. You’ve discovered the great entrance to the ruined dwarven city. The gates are big and strong. You can hear something moving, can catch glimpses of something marching back there. But whatever it is, it’s not alive.” Nino tugged on his cap. “Well, uh, not in the usual sense, anyway.”

“We can probably take them,” Alya said as she cracked her knuckles. “We’ve trounced worse baddies.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Skeletons gave us a lot of problems back in the mines.” Marinette was tapping a finger to her cheek.

“I know that look, Mari.” Adrien grinned. “What are you thinking?”

“Well, what if we don’t use the main entrance? If it really is a city under there, then there’s no way the Necromancer can have the entire place guarded.”

Alya crossed her arms. “That sounds great and all, M, but do we know of any other entrances?”

“I don’t know.” Marinette locked eyes with Adrien. “Do we?”

Adrien seemed to catch on quickly and scrambled through his notes. “Oh! There’s got to be some legends or stories about this place, right?”

“Hm…” Nino made a quick roll and nodded. “Yeah, you’ve heard a few tales. And between the four of you and all those years of neglect, you could prolly find it. But what are you gonna do once you’re there?”

“That’s where I come in,” Marinette wore a serious expression, her eyes distant as she imagined their mission. “With my super high stealth, I can steer us clear of patrols. And if I find a good place to stash the rest of you, I could even do some scouting on my own.”

Alya narrowed her eyes and cupped her chin. “If we pull this off, then we might just avoid the Necromancer’s entire army…”

“...AND we’ll have the element of surprise.” A vicious grin split Marinette’s face. “He won’t have a clue that we’re coming.”

“Right, okay.” Nino took a deep breath. This… wasn’t exactly what he expected them to do, but being DM meant being able to improvise. Nino rolled a perception check for the four of them, more for show than anything. They’d have to roll pretty high to spot a secret passage. “After a few hours of following your half-remembered story, you don’t find anything. Do you want to keep looking?”

They all nodded resolutely.

“Right.” Nino rolled another round of perception checks. Nothing. “More hours pass. The sun is starting to set. Do you still want to keep looking?

Alya was looking a bit less certain, but Marinette remained confident and that was enough for Adrien. With majority in favor, they kept searching.

“So the moon is out now. It’s full and half of us are some kinda elf, so we could keep searching, but-”

“We keep going.”

“M, what if we can’t find anything? Maybe we should make camp, figure out a new plan.”

“Alya, trust me. I’ve got this.”

“But M-”

“If this plan doesn’t work, then we just aren’t equipped to open the gates and fight the baddies. We’d have to go back anyway. Besides - I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

Alya sighed. “Alright… We stay at it.”

Nodding, Nino rolled a perception check for them. His character failed, as did Alya and Marinette’s. All that was left was Adrien’s character.

Who, naturally, rolled a twenty. His first of the entire campaign. Shocked, it took a minute for Nino to recover. “So, um… With the moonlight coming down, Adrien spots some glowing runes on a rock. He plays the song that he has been following and sure enough, the stone totally vanishes, revealing a stairwell that leads deep underground.”

“Sweet.” Alya says as they all tear into celebratory croissants. “What do we see down there, babe?”

“You’re walking for a while, but eventually the tunnel opens up into a dusty, abandoned quarter of the city. You pass through long abandoned checkpoints and guard posts. When you step into the main cavern, you realize why the city went quiet.” Nino paused to down his pop, leaving the party enraptured. “The ceiling had collapsed, tons of mountain stone crushing the city. Even now, a massive ramp of rock squats in the middle of the city.”

Adrien, his hands folded in front of his face, narrowed his eyes. He spoke in his bard’s voice. “Who knows what lies beneath?”

“Soon enough, the Necromancer.” At their confused looks, Nino added, “Even though you feel death all around you, the air is filled with the sounds of picks hitting stone… And the rattle of bones.”

“Is there somewhere nearby that I can hide these guys?” Marinette jerked a thumb towards the other two.

“Sure. There are plenty of abandoned buildings around here. Most of ‘em prolly won’t collapse ontop of them.”

“Yeah, well, thankfully I have all that training in engineering, remember? I pick the most structurally sound one and try to sneak over to the cave in.”

“Oh, dang. Forgot about that.” Nino cleared his throat. “With the other dudes safely tucked away, you can sneak over to the landslide. Roll for stealth.”

“What am I hiding from?” She asked as she searched for her d20.

“Human zombies in rusty metal armor.”

“Huh. Rusty because of being really old or because zombies don’t take gear of their stuff?”

Nino thought about it for a moment. “The second one.” He glanced at the die roll. “Okay, that’ll be good enough. You get a clear view of the rocks and, well… there are tons of short, stocky skeletons in tattered rags. Probably dwarven, most of them are only armed with picks, but there are a few dozen of ‘em crawling over it. As you watch, one tumbles off and shatters as it falls down the cliff… and right into a huge hole. Whatever they’re digging for, you get the feeling they’re close.”

Marinette tapped at her chin. “Alright, I get a good look around to see if I can guess where the Necromancer might be.”

“There’s a battered but sturdy guard tower that sometimes flashes a sickly green light. Other than that, its shambling undead everywhere.”

“Can I get there easily?”

“Uhh… maybe. There are guards out front, but the tower is kinda out of the way, away from the throng of undead.”

Adrien make a confused face. “Why would he set up there…?”

“Not a lot of intact buildings, I bet.” Marinette nodded. “And he wants some quiet too. Maybe we can use that in our favor?”

The session devolved into making plots and figuring out how best to ambush the dark wizard. They were so engaged in their conversation that they didn’t notice Sabine’s arrival until she put her hands on Marinette’s shoulders.

“Gah!” Marinette started and tilted her head straight up. “Oh, hi maman. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to let you kids know that Tom and I are going to bed. The snow is coming down pretty hard now, so we’d rather you all stay the night.”

While Marinette tried to gently brush off her mom’s hands as they messed with her hair, Nino got up to look out the window. Sure enough, a layer of snow blanketed Paris with no signs of stopping. The darkening skies also reminded him of how early he’d had to wake up the last couple days.

Fighting down a yawn, he turned back towards his party. “What do you say we call it here and pick it up in the morning? Maybe we can watch a movie or something.”

Marinette tilted her head up to look at her mother. “Can my friends spend the night in my room? Then we can be out of the way when you guys wake up in the morning.”

Sabine seemed to consider this for a few moments before replying, “Of course dear, but remember our talk…”

A fierce blush spread across Marinette’s face. “Maman!”

“I’m just saying!” Laughing, Sabine left the room.

An awkward silence stretched before Adrien naively asked, “What talk?”

-------------

After a few movies, they were exhausted. Nino was looking down from Marinette’s bed at the unfolding drama of who would get the chaise.

“Adrien please - I’m fine sleeping on the floor. I’ve got plenty of pillows and blankets. It isn’t that bad.”

“If it isn’t that bad then I can be on the floor. You already gave up your bed to Alya and Nino. At least take the chaise.”

“I’m the host!” She hissed in irritation. “I have to make sure all my guests are comfortable!”

“And I will only be comfortable once I know you’re sleeping on something nice and soft!”

In a huff, Marinette threw her pillows and blankets on the floor of her room. For a hot second Nino was worried that she was about to jump him, but no, she was just angrily building a nest on the floor. Adrien gaped at her for a moment before dropping his stuff on the ground and doing the same.

“I mean it, hot stuff,” Marinette growled through a faint blush. “I’m sleeping on the floor no matter what you do. You may as well just take the chaise.”

Adrien took a deep breath as if winding up for a long spiel. “No.”

Both of them stubbornly get into their blanket nests and glared at each other, but from his spot from above, Nino could see them slowly inching together. He shook his head and ducked under the covers, where Alya had already tucked herself in. Her eyes were closed as she nuzzled against the pillows.

As he was taking off his glasses, she mumbled, “The babies still being ridiculous?”

“You know it.”

“Good. Can’t have everything change all at once.”

“Right as usual, babe.” Nino leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Night.”

A serene smile graced her face as she whispered back, “Night.”

[thestudyfeels]

How To NOT Be Depressed.

(Or If You Prefer — How to Be Substantially Happy About Life.) 

WARNING: This is one rollercoaster ride of a post. Proceed with extreme caution. For some, the staggering levels of insight may induce true purpose and re-establish their warrior spirit. For others, side effects may include grammatically incorrect hate or aloof eyerolls. We advise exiting if the said group includes you, for we're very tired of cleaning vomit off the seats.

Step aboard at your own risk.

If you’re one of the brave souls who stayed back to join us, I congratulate you for even I am scared of how crazy this post truly is. Alrighty then, kick back and relax folks, today we’re having a mature, adult conversation. Merely another cheery afternoon spent talking about life and its realities. Not too bad, eh?

Before we begin, spoiler alert! For those of you already turned off by the mention of 'depression’ and packing their bunnies to leave, sit tight. This ISN'T really about depression. This is about HAPPINESS. No clickbait. That got your attention, right butterfly? Nice, now stay.

A welcoming, maybe demanding A/N: Do me a favor and read this in one go. Maybe even plug in those headphones and listen to the songs dedicated to each part as you read. It's long, you have the new Riverdale episode to catch up on, but don't hop away just yet because (I had a couple moments writing this, alright) it's life changing. You'll prolly cry a few tears of realization, nod all nod-able body parts in agreement, beat your chest at random instants 'cause the hype’s too real, and perhaps, if it isn’t too much to hope for, finally go change your life for the better. In case you've forgotten, this'll remind you that there’s always hope, that you're a born conqueror, and you were made to THRIVE, not survive. Convinced? Kay, roll the cams.

   To clarify first-hand, no, I'm not depressed although I’ve experienced mild depression for a period before. Glad to say I'm out of it but I still struggle with tackling what I'm about to detail next.

Insert bitter voice, it’s this: My life is nowhere near I want it to be. Though I know vaguely what I wanna do, I haven't yet figured out how the hell I’m supposed to get there, or how my dream life is to be sketched out. It’s all a blurry mess. Which, to put it bluntly, hurts. I HATE feeling powerless and worthless, roaming about aimlessly.

There are many such moments where I hit the brakes to wonder why I’m not living THE Life already. There have been several times when I curl up and cry a frickin’ Amazon. There are horrible nights where I'm shaking with emotions, but they won't release, leaving me choked. (…not in that way, you hoes. Um, just ruined the dramatic mood with a lame dirty joke, sorry.)

   They say talking helps and that's why I figured I'd drop in. But perhaps more importantly, I wanted to hang because no matter how unfocused the lens may seem at my future, I don't consider myself a dopey loser incapable of the crazy dreams or wild bucket lists I fantasize about– and I thought I'd skip along to remind you that neither should you. (Or maybe I just came to sniff the new appetizers, who knows?)

PS: I also broke a sweat listing six ways to get outta depression– alternatively, to be more of a conqueror– because y'all are always pestering me with asks that go “how do I conquer omg send supplies” (Like, imagine a conqueror saying that! Oh, the crime, the atrocity!)

So yes, you're welcome. Have a feast with this litness.  

The main reason behind people being so frightfully sad, I’ve found, is a huge lack of fulfillment. We don't do what we love, for either— [ 1 ] we aren’t living life the way we want to (since we keep doing things we feel we're supposed to do) OR [ 2 ] because Mama, Papa and Mrs. Carter next door feel that struggling is the only way, and project their traditional beliefs onto us. Either way, whether or not we consciously realize this, subconsciously, we're all hurting because of it. Badly.

That lingering feeling of emptiness never seems to leave. You feel drained every night when you drop into bed, not because you gave it your all, but because you couldn't. And so, we do the next best thing. Drugs. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. We numb out this subconscious pain by binge watching Netflix shows. We deaden ourselves to that discomfort by reading smut in the bathroom or by playing dumb video games all day. We try (and fail) to extinguish this feeling of not ‘being enough’ by having silly flings or fake friendships.

And ultimately, we NUMB ourselves out to LIFE for we can't bear to live the way we're living. There's a reason why “How to Stop Procrastinating” posts are so popular (they’re a blogger’s most foolproof way of paying the month’s rent, and yes, even I'm guilty of a couple). We’re constantly having FOMO and tuning into others' highlights on social media– completely missing out on our own lives in the process. We fail to realize that the culprit is lack of genuine purpose more than zero self-control (or maybe it’s both, but that’s a tale for another day).

[On a side note, obviously I did generalize a bit– video games can be a passion for you, watching shows a way of winding down. But for most, they’re only DISTRACTIONS, just another way of ignoring the calls of life by hanging up the phone.]

   And here's the bitter truth about depression: The longer you wait to start living authentically, the more you start tuning out the inner cries wanting change, the faster your dreams start to ebb away, and the more you'll want to become insignificant. And to me, that's the scariest part of this journey to my dream life.

Nothing frightens me more than knowing that the moment I stop pushing, the very moment I give in to distractions and fears, my goals will stop manifesting themselves and I'll be stuck in this small town with its small people eternally. And THAT, I'm certain, won't be any more fun than working your way through a soggy ham sandwich, ironic as soggy is what life has become. (Yes, I have a thing against soggy sandwiches. They were a kid's worst lunch nightmare.)

   If you relate, and I’m sure you do (it’s probably why you stopped scrolling through cheesy fanfic for ten minutes to read this, I know you amigo) — here are six ways to NOT be depressed. Or more accurately, to gift wrap yourself some sweet ol’ happiness.

You're a Samurai and the Following Be Your Katanas —

Hol’ up. The second you reach the End Card, I want you to drop your Cheerios and implement at least THREE of these six strategies. Just follow the Takeaways, I've made this really simple. And as a rule, one of them has to be this one. (Look, don't whine. If you wanna climb outta that dark hole, you gotta put in some effort. So pop that booty, and let’s get down to business!)

Here’s the most truthful, though cheesy thing I’ll ever say: I would be nowhere I am today without this blog. If not for it, I would most likely be weeping in a dug-out hole somewhere, drowning in my salty little pond of tears and chiming every loser’s favorite words (“there's no point”). Creating this blog gave me a definite purpose – putting out fiery content, dipping myself deep into my newly found passion for writing and influencing, and connecting with other conquerors on the platform.  

I meet a lot of folks, whether at Sad School, Mouldy Mall, or Boring Bus stop, who always seem to be in a state of death-inducing boredom. When asked about their favorite thing to do, they’ll mumble “sleep” or “food” like Siri narrating your cat’s evening routine. And then you see adults, dragging through life mindlessly. Utterly clueless, floating like a piece of driftwood in an ocean bubbling with life. My sympathy quota gets overdosed everytime I think about it.

   To spell it out, find something to do. Anything! Learn a language, try some ballet, take pictures of your neighbor's rose garden, make an art piece and show it to your mom, stitch buttons onto shirts for fun, heck, make an entire shirt out of buttons, take a break from reading smut to write your own, frutify your farts, WHATEVER, just get up and move.

And here’s why – nay, not to keep you engaged or make you feel less worthless, not that bullcrap. It’s to put in gear the journey of figuring out what is the shite that you love doing. Too often we get stuck thinking about what our oh-so-great passion is. Get this, passion is energy. A spark for something. A magical fortune cookie which, when cracked, seems to explain everything, gives you the very reason for being alive. You can only feel that fire, that wild love, when you actually do it. So get cracking is all I’ll say!

Takeaway:

Attempt something. Nah, scratch that, imagine you’re in a sweet shop with shelves lined with free samples and try everything. Pick up that Polaroid cam, take that dreaded history course, buy that children’s cooking kit– in short, start working. Pull out all the stops, get curious, and get creative. In the process, if you promise to try hard enough, you WILL (money back guarantee) find out what makes your little heart burst with mad happiness and would willingly do for free, if needed, because you really are that crazy about it. And that, my dear, will be your oh-so-great-indeed passion. Have no doubt, you’ll never be “bored” again.

Real talk, having a dream is a big deal. And unfortunately, I’ve witnessed, rarely anyone has one to begin with. They’re either more dead than the cheap skeleton I bought for Halloween or believe they have a dream, but in reality, it belongs to mom, dad, or Uncle Sammy. Listen, doing something for someone you love (my Uncle Sammy used to supply me with cold cash whenever he came around, loved that guy) is great! YET, if you’re willing to throw away your life to fulfill others’ expectations, convincing yourself it's because they love you, even when YOUR lonely heart craves bigger things than just a marketing job, then you, my friend? Are the biggest fool. Don’t get offended, we both know it, this girl needn't ramble.

Recently, my relatives were over (nope, sadly not Uncle Sammy) and my cousin and I had a chat about life (correct, I grab every opportunity to do so). It wasn't very exciting I must say, he kept staring off into the distance (I wonder why), but what he SAID is what I'll talk about. After I’d gushed about my dreams, he asked skeptically if being an influencer would still be an ambition two years from now when I graduate. I raised my eyebrows, mock hurt, like eff you son, I ain’t giving up on my dreams! But that question got me thinking.

Life is wild. Unpredictable. An unexpected call, a single person, a random BLOG POST (cough) – can turn your life upside down, sometimes in the affirmative, other times not. This variability of life isn’t uncommon, and everyone experiences some part of it– unpaid student loans, failing startups, talent and art going unnoticed in industries dominated by wealth and connections, you name it. If all of that doesn’t make you run for the Himalayas and abandon any dreams, throw in a quick side dish of dysfunctionale famiglia with a sprinkle of self-image issues.

It ain’t easy, darling. The world is one cruel headmistress; it loves slapping awake the daydreamers and wishful thinkers. That hasn't ever actually stopped the dropouts and class clowns from building castles in the air though. And the common blueprint you notice they follow? Let me introduce you to…  Madness. Obsession. Maniacal obsession, to say. (Yes, I'm done playing with my words.)

   I struggled writing this point. A pestering voice in my head kept mumbling – They'll go back to doing the same sad shit anyway. Um, does anyone even read your posts? Lol, call yourself an influencer, hun. Hesitation started creeping in. Then the irony of the situation struck me. I laughed, shook my head and got back to typing.

We ran out of juicy gossip weeks ago, so here’s your tea served cold: insecurities and self doubt WILL get in the way. That whiny voice was just a mild version of what you face when you go all in. Fear traps you in its cage, and those who prattled behind your back now progress to talking shit in your face. Criticism and self doubt resurfaces, so unless your defenses are strong, you'll be crushed. Destroyed REAL quick.

When hell breaks loose (oh honey, and it WILL), your self defense comprising of maniacal obsession must be well learnt. Let them attack, mock, heck, drag you away from the desk and hurl you at the top of a damn mountain, but you better STILL hike back down, show them the middle finger, and continue working. That's how bulletproof you've gotta be. That's how madly do you have to love your dreams. And if you really think this will be a cake walk or want to continue complaining about Stuart being born with a silver spoon, hop off the train already. Your destination isn't on the tour list.

Look, my dreams terrify me. But they certainly make me feel more alive than complying with what every parent said about getting good grades and holding together a roof on my head. My ambitions set me free, give me a reason to fucking live. And yet, every now and then, something makes me question them. A fear engulfs me, some doubter proclaims I suck, someone I love is so blinded they can't see my vision. And that's okay. My defenses are way stronger. The next day rolls round, and you'll find me hustling again, thriving again. All because I know that even if no one reads my posts (the worst case scenario, I know y'all love me lol), someday in the future, someone will. I know that even if I’m not an influencer yet, if just one reader becomes a conqueror because of my words, it would be a win. A big win. I'd have done my job. All because I’m wildly, yes maniacally, obsessed with my dreams.

So hey, cousin? This influencer thing? This will be my dream long after I've graduated. Till the day I die, and maybe even then I'll rise from my grave to give a dead pal a lively pep talk. My watchtower has just been upgraded, so thank u, next.

Takeaway: 

“General, we've arrived!” Finally! Position those cannons, Martha, let’s talk them through the defenses. All aboard? AHOY MATEY! (wait, that was one for the pirates). Step one, dare to create a dream in your mind’s eye. The bigger, the crazier, and the scarier, the better. Doesn’t matter how impossible it is, don’t care how many voice their opinion against it, just imagine, keep a million possibilities in mind.

Once you see the life you truly want (you’ll know, everything will seem to zing)— have a sip. Become OBSESSED for that life. Thirst after that vision, itch to manifest it, and pine for the satisfaction that’ll come to your soul once it’s made a reality. Fall madly in love with the process and how magical it feel when you do it. And THEN, bellow a loud war cry and charge headfirst into battle, shields held high at all the criticisms. We conquerors never cared much for them anyway.

(play ♬) Picture this: forehead stamped with beads of sweat. Calloused hands working their fingers to the bone and eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. Conjure an image where powerful beats are pulsing hard in your ears, synced with your own elevated heartbeats, and you’re thriving. Performing. Winning. Guess the secret to that? Preparation. Champions prepare. You can’t throw anything to the winds or rely on ‘luck’ or chance to conquer.

Tough days are in everyone’s calendar, be it your extra cheerful neighbor, Sally, or lone wolf classmate, Derrick. We’ve all found ourselves sulking over an awful situation, scooping into mint ice cream to forget mistakes, errands, and ghosting exes. Yet guess what? The solution isn’t the proclaimed “be positive!” or “It all happens for a reason, don’t you worry” - the key is coming up with a method to dodge the discouraging effect these hiccups have on us.   

So every bad day, I bring out a mason jar containing a knot of chits and one secret letter which is, on most days, kept hidden on the top shelf of my cupboard. I make myself comfortable on the bed, read all my bits of paper carefully, including the letter addressed to yours truly, close my eyes, and mentally fight back whatever’s bringing me down.

A short while later, I get up, now a warrior, and go slay the rest of the day like it was my last one on this planet. That jar is my jar. A Conqueror’s jar. One look at those powerful reminders, and I’m grounded once again, the beast within me now unleashed to kill.

Takeaway:

Honey, go get yourself a jar. Along with some papyrus and ink. Then start jotting down. Document past victories, future visions, fears that mean zilch to the person you’re about to become, batty goals you’ve still gotta chase, reminders that the majority will never understand what it is you’re tryna do here, and how that’s perfectly alright 'cause you'll find your conquerors, your squad one day. Create your victory jar. And then go knock ‘em down dead. Bad days stand no chance against you. You’re a winner, a fucking rebel. Go take what’s yours.

Y’know, I’m perfectly aware that many muggles reading this will whine that dealing with depression ain’t no piece o’ pie and it’s hella hard to get up and take the crown when you feel like a pile of dino dung.

Stop it. Get some help. (See what I did? Like Michael- ok ok, calm thyself.) For real though, and I’m tired of repeating this with my kitten stamped microphone (but I’ll keep at it ‘cause it’s that significant) – whining is WORTHLESS. It saps up precious energy that could be used to make life a scrumptious smoothie. (Loothie? As in life + smoothie? Right, yes, I’m shutting up.)

And even THEN, we find denizens complaining about slow WiFis and thin crust pizzas and how the market’s down and the government’s incompetent. Because blabbering makes us feel important. Heard. But keeping yo’ trap shut and actually doing stuff? Hustling for your dreams when nobody’s watching? Actually walking the talk? C’mon, Emma, don't be naive, ain’t nobody getting recognition for that.

Trust me, I get it. The world is yet to become a feminist, turns out your boyfriend was cheating on you while you were looking up wedding dresses, mommy’s a drunk loser, and idiots are being voted into office. It’s a lot to handle. But thanks to our immense and ever increasing population (we folks really love our rumpy pumpy, can you tell) — there will surely be one chum, facing exactly the same misfortunes as you, but still turning up at every party and bulk-spamming his friends with puppy pictures while you sit and wail. (One Moaning Myrtle is enough, thank you very much.)

Look, I’m not undermining your worries or obstacles. I’m only reminding that you have the marvelous choice of positivity. To CHOOSE hope and a better future when others won't. To FIND (and it's always possible) something to look forward to even when the to-do’s a big snore. To KNOW, deep inside, that you're a magnificent conqueror, no matter what mess you’re in at the moment, and that the world dances to your rhythm. Realise that it's up to you to let yourself be happy. At any moment, you have the very say-so to get up and start rocking. Dumbledore said it himself, “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” So choose better, and you’ll unconsciously do better as well. And yes, that being said, this is the last HP reference, don't fret. Be positive instead. (Edit: Ha, look at these quips, the girl's all grown up now.)

Takeaway: 

Your new occupation is to be a sunflower. If you think back, you'll probably recall Miss Honey rattling on about phototropic movement in AP biology. No? Me neither. Point is, sunflowers always face the sun. Put them ANYWHERE, hide them in the dungeons, throw them in a trash bag and shoot it off to the moon, they’ll still turn around and face the sun. No matter what. And taking inspo from that, you too can stop scripting creative soliloquies for being depressed. Happiness is YOUR right, YOUR priority, don't let anyone take it away from you or diminish its importance. DON’T let sadness ruin your vibe, do what you've gotta do to protect yourself. Track happiness in yo’ journal, set 84 reminders on your phone, and tattoo “Long as you’re beaming up at the sun, all the shadows will be left behind” on your boobs. Do whatever, just don’t turn the corners of your mouth down. You’re so pretty this way.

The other day, I was doing the deathly Plié Alternative Heel Lifts (these names, I swear) and my legs felt dead. Gone. Put to sleep like the Wicked Witch of the East. Now obviously, the timer wasn’t not even halfway done yet, but my cheeks were already flushing red like dear Santa, and NOT because I was high on choco chip cookies. I sighed, and at that point, I was so over giving up. All this while, I’d been whining and protesting because my muscles felt sore, but in that moment, I made up my mind. I bit my lip and kept going. On and on. Keep pulsing, you got it, don't stop, was the mantra I kept chanting.

   Won’t sugarcoat it, I honestly hadn’t died this much since that time Miss Honey buried me alive with trig assignments. My legs were now basically Play-doh and I was shaking, fighting for balance. A few seconds in though, something crazy happened. My legs went numb. My grumbling mind quietened and the pain vanished. That evening, I had the upper hand, not my physical perceptions of myself. I was powerful. Flawless. (Hey Santa, do you even lift bro?) Real talk, I was in the Zone, bitches.

I’m not sure if that was the result of excessive pain or because Wonder Woman’s spirit possessed ma bod, but staying loyal to my love for metaphors, I’ll use the experience to explain what I’m tryna get at here.

   Look, here’s the real deal — if all of the greats gave up the second things got frowny, we probably would have no one to worship. Nix role models, nix inspirations, none to stalk on Insta - we’d all be bumbling about like Sad from the even sadder Emoji movie (no shade, emojis be lit).

And that'd be very sad (pun definitely intended). Hence, cue some tangible ways to boosting your grit, so that you can be your own superhero:

1) Get yo’self a goddamn motto,

2) Know your “Why,”

3) Repeat the cycle till it’s in your blood. Btw, Shawn, if you here, I’m still a single pringl—HEY PAL I SEE YOU, DON'T SCROLL.

Seriously, don't brush these prime steps aside. We're always going for the advanced modes, and deeming these basic levels a waste of time. Well guess what, compadre, YOUR LIFE IS A GODDAMN WASTE O’ TIME IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR BASICS RIGHT. Excuse my outburst, but listen. You can’t do a hundred bicep curls on your first workout if you haven't lifted anything more than a crisps packet. Likewise, if you simply jump into Life one day, and decide “ok, here it is, 12 habits to build, sleep schedule to fix, man to ask out, let's go,” you ain't getting nowhere, chum. Start small. Take baby steps. It's clearly not as fun (definitely negates the bragging on Facebook part of it) but it'll stick. You’ll create a consistency that not even Grandma's cake batter can achieve.

1. Talking mottos — For context, a motto that I always mutter (my mom thinks I'm cursing, oh what a bad child) every time I spill milk while making coffee is “Do more. Give more. BE more.” Not only does it help me stay right on track for the rest of the day but it helps me clean up my mess, figuratively and otherwise, or I’d just be sitting in a puddle of spilt milk, cursing adulting for real this time and with more laundry to do.

2. Why you need the Big Why — Owning up, I’m guilty of attempting to learn Welsh for less than 48 hours because I hadn't a single reason to speak the language. A similar thing happened with half of my 2018 resolutions, which had a bunch of rubbish like “Floss daily”, something my eyes got trained to skip because, um, who the hell flosses every day?

Lame humor aside, I still workout almost daily because I have my Why straight. 1) I want to feel good about my body and get closer to the confident badass I envision my future self to be, 2) I simply HAVE to sustain my health to live to build my legacy and fulfill my dreams of opening a bakery at 90 and 3) Because I’m an influencer, and want to walk my talk and be the inspiration people need. Those are the reasons as to why I turn up to my yoga mat everyday, shut my jabbering mind, and keep on pulsing. This “Why” strategy applies to everything. Wanna get outta depression? Why? Wanna lose 20 pounds? Why? Wanna listen to your dentist’s desperate pleadings and floss already? WHY EH? Unless you know your intentions, you’ll give up at the first chance you get to not act on your goals. And watch out, because there'll be a LOT of those.

For me, leaving a legacy behind means more than having a slice of cake or missing a workout because there’s a fun movie playing. Find what's important to YOU, make it your why, and go marry your goals.

3. And then, Repeat — Bear in mind, if you're not living your best life yet, there are NO weekends. NO work-shy days. No weak days, no pick-me-up days, no eat-candy-do-nothing days. Everyday is a damn Monday. EVERYDAY is life or death. Every holy day you wake up is a chance to push your limits, challenge your mindset, and see how far you can go. And every 24 hours, when the cycle starts again, it’s your mission to race to build a stronger, wiser and crazier you.

And who knows, perhaps one day, you and I will just be casually sipping tea in our dream home, laughing at how the milk is still being spilt but knowing, proudly, fiercely, that we’ve come so far, even though there’s still more left to do, more to give and so much more to be.

Takeaway: 

Quit quitting. You're, guaranteed, 20x stronger than you think. I doubted I could go through with the workout, it seemed beyond my present physical capabilities. But I did, because I treated it as life or death. Understand this, the second you start making excuses, for being depressed, for taking an unnecessary day off - you give away your power. You are a very powerful being. You're limitless, capable of everything.

I'm not throwing these words around to make you feel cute, I actually mean AND believe them. There’s so much that's been done already— the iconic four minute mile by Roger Bannister, invention of the light bulb, cars, toothpaste and other junk, people who lost both legs and climbed Mt. Everest, we sent a man to moon in frickin’ 1969 (50 YEARS ago), some ran a 26 mile marathon with zero training, love and hope is still strong in this world, oh let's also add coffee and motivational music— and YOU think you can't finish a workout or get outta depression or meet your idols or marry the man of your dreams or become the artist you wanna be? Ridiculous. Don't give away your power that easily, this ain't no charity shop.

(play ♬) Having personally dealt with unwelcome yet familiar feelings of emptiness quite often, I’ve now reached a point where each bad day is simply a reminder of how long my journey ahead is, and just how badly I want to reach my destination.

We finally near the end of this novel of a post (thanks for sticking around, bud), and my best advice would be this: Rather than wallowing in self pity and throwing one-man parties because your life is so awfully dreadful, know that even when life throws you to the floor, long as you can look up, long as you can read an entire book about defeating depression (cough)– you can GET UP too. Let those emotions of sorrow and frustration blaze up into a roaring, crackling fire that doesn’t consume you, but instead, urges you, fuels you.

Lately, no matter how much shit I go through, how many arguments I tumble into, or how barren my dreams look sometimes, I don’t break down. And no, it wasn't always like this. I never even had aspirations to name two years ago. Six months back, it had become a night routine to cry. Not anymore.

Now, every setback and every failure only pushes me to be stronger and give more than I ever gave. The day I made the decision to Conquer (truly, madly, deeply, with all of my heart) was also the day I said a big, loud ‘fuck you’ to every resistance that was to cross my path. I had finally understood that life was nothing but a battle of WILLS, that it was all in or nothing, and I made up my mind once and for all to NEVER give in to depression, or to society, or to anyone who tells me I cannot make it.

I had conquered depression. There was no looking back now.

Takeaway: 

Here’s something no one will tell you: the key to bringing depression to its knees is seeing it positively. Pretend that it's a friend continuously sending strong, aggressive signals urging you to be happy. And what do you do when a caring friend throws some holy light? You listen, push past your ego, and follow accordingly.

And if that parallel seems unconvincing, here's another one (sup, DJ Khaled. This post is turning musical, sorry): it's scared of you. Depression is scared shit of you. Y'know how bullies are, right? Majorly insecure, self-loathing too perhaps, hardly fans of self love, and always trying to numb all that subconscious pain by inflicting pain on others. Depression has the same instruction manual. Your fears and doubts are your (pathetic) bullies, and depression is the big ol’ crony who does the dirty work for 'em.

Whenever you decide shit this is it, I'm going for it, they go paranoid and try stopping you because they've seen no better. And if they succeed, BOOM, you're depressed, paralyzed, your qualms reigning over you again. Don't let them in. I'll say it a thousand times if I gotta because I want (HAVE) to see you conquer – you're so much stronger than you think you are. You can do so much more than you think. It's all in your head! Don't just sit there, click away, and go back to living a sad life. You’re better than that. DO better than that. You’re meant to freaking CONQUER, straight-up dominate, my pal. Pay heed to that voice craving freedom. You got this. And you better know it.

One thing’s fixed like the (beloved by all) proportionality constants in Physics, you will come across depressing mornings and sluggish evenings even in the future. I assure you. Lots o’ bad hair days in the calendar, sis. But here's what you’ll do: you'll deactivate the miserable thoughts, keep a cool head, remind yourself that this is yet another test (better, rap your new mantra) and USE that hurt, pain, and anger to create a fervor and passion that wreaks havoc on its obstacles and drives you to accomplish EVERYTHING you've ever wanted to do. The easy choice would be to just give up, bellyache about the situation, and want sympathy for your worries. Yet, what you'll never do is… exactly that.

Rule 1) NEVER give up. Stand your ground. Have faith in your strength. Know that you'll have your way soon enough anyway. Rule 2) NEVER complain. All it does is drain your energy, that precious fire you could to high jump your way into the clouds. Makes you a pathetic wimp too, definitely not something you want on a warrior’s resume. Lastly, Rule 3) NEVER seek validation. From anyone. It sure feels nice to be acknowledged and encouraged, but grasp this— this is your journey. YOUR life and YOUR vision. Validation won't get you anywhere, for there'll never be enough of it.

Cuz Marty, if you're tryna bring something new, different, and authentic into this world – you'll most likely be hated on badly, before you'll be loved madly (hi, me a rapper). Learn to invite hate instead—IMPORTANT: hate from others, not yourself. Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the real tea: hate is good. It means you're standing up for something, refusing to fit like a puzzle piece in society, and being UNAPOLOGETICALLY yourself. And it’s certainly a sign that you’re on the right path if you can ignore that hate and stick your tongue out at it.  

Yet another reason to never seek validation is simply this: you have to fight for yourself. In order to meet your own expectations, reach the doorstep of the best version of you, and transform this world, you'll have to go wildly IN. Toil and hammer away. Shut out all the haters and non-believers, listening only to your gut. Importantly, learn to accept the rejection slips, validating yourself not with what Molly says about it being okay, but with the reminder that your time is coming soon. Depend on yourself. Validation will NEVER be enough.

I get it, it's a lot of homework, but perhaps you already realize that it’s THIS work that'll change your life forever. Not “how to not procrastinate, Jesus take the wheel” or “HELLO, life's a mess so here are ten things to do (you won't believe number four!)”. Clickbaits don't work, stop believing that a fancy planner is going to be your savior. There is no rule to making your life a masterpiece. You'll have to get to know yourself and your dreams (journaling, meditation, silent pondering), build the work ethics and the mentality needed (lots of work in this one, yet no strict framework to go about it) and GET GOING.

AND with that firework, I'll begin to slip away now. Again, I won’t say it’s easy, that’s cock and bull. Life’s no fairytale. You will never feel ready to start bringing your dreams to fruition. But, my darling (I’m being so nice yo, follow me), you must. You must force yourself to work for the future you want till it becomes a habit, an obsession. The world badly needs heroes; confident people who can stand for themselves so that others can stare at first, maybe even hate a little, but then follow because they seem unstoppable and are, truthfully, having the most fun at life. YOU'RE one of them. No validation, just plain facts.

You see, conquering is a LOT of blood and sweat (K-pop, anyone? BTS? Lmao, this is me tryna clickbait y'all to read). Even getting up will seem huge when you're just starting out, and this is one long road, dear pal. Still then, I have enough faith in you to hope you don't give into your fears, I hope you willingly chase discomfort, and I hope you find the courage to do all that you want to do, while that heart's still beating.

I hope you conquer. I'll do too, and I'd really like to see some familiar faces during the ride.

Peace, amigo.

A loud ass A/N: And now, we come the most important part of this post. WAKE UP Luke, stop snoring, and take some notes. Remember kids, I won't accept anything but an A.

   If you couldn’t identify yourself throughout this post and currently are scoffing like um woman, that's not really why I'm depressed, hang in there a sec. Yes, you can stop singing It Ain’t Me now. You've a very nice voice by the way.

I'm not a doctor, and I don't have enough exposure to know why so many earthlings are depressed today. HOWEVER, by talking to many, following their stories, watching and reading stuff – I do know with firm conviction that a majority suffers from severe unfulfillment. Don't believe me? A study shows 85% of the working class worldwide hate their jobs. Do you realize what that actually means? EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT of the THREE BILLION PEOPLE employed today, hate being employed in the first place! They do it for prime survival, to sustain themselves. And that's just jobs. I won't scare you, but 50% (yes, HALF, you heard that right) of students HATE going to school. Kids waste SEVEN hours of their life every day going somewhere they dislike, doing something they hate. Who's singing now?

People find themselves trapped in golden handcuffs, taking the paycheck despite the passionless job. They push aside the art and business they love, to become a slave of good ol’ cash. Several surround themselves with negativity and get frustrated when unable to escape the choking (no, not THAT kind again, hello someone pour holy water over this post) atmosphere. An innumerable are forced into taking up courses that they don't care about under parental pressure. The reasons are endless, and I don't think I'll amuse myself listing all the sad excuses.

This has always been the story. Hundreds of influencers have preached the same words I’m tryna put into your head here and you’ll yourself say you’ve heard this a million times. YET, you’re dissatisfied. YET, you feel like crap everyday, feeding yourself the same lie that the next day will be better, that you’ll get up tomorrow– while you let life beat the shit out of you.

That’s why, all of my words, everything you’ve read today - all of that boils down to just one single question. A difficult but necessary choice. Will you let this happen to YOU? Will you, seriously, even after this wild ride together, go back to doing nothing and being nothing? Will you, for real, continue deceiving yourself, sacrifice your happiness for the sake of pleasing everyone else, and remain a statistic on a website?

   (play ♬) If you’re not sure of your answer, read: Look, making you feel guilty is not my intention, because that’s not how this works. I need you to understand instead. Guilt wears off, it’s only understanding that brings about change. So, just for old times’ sake, I’ll rant a bit more (ik, just can’t seem to leave y’all).

You’re so, so young right now. More than half of your life is yet to be experienced. None of this probably makes much impact right now but it will the day you die. Remember, on your deathbed, you won't EVER look back and say, “Damn, wish I'd spent more time at the office. Saved up just one more dollar. Could’ve got that promotion before Amy.” Nay, it won’t even be on the calendar. That day, one foot in the grave, you'll reflect and wonder why the heck you didn’t let yourself be happier. Why you took up that lacklustre, soul-sucking architect job when all you've ever wanted to do is keep laughing. Why you didn't ask your crush out, why you were so afraid to walk up to that audition, because dammit, you could’ve been running your own comedy show by now. Why you dragged around a karaoke machine all this time instead of singing your own song. Why you couldn’t love yourself. Why you submitted. Why.

And the moment you realize that you hadn't lived a life for you, you’ll be crushed. Broken. The arthritis in your grannie joints won't even compare and neither will the mild dissatisfaction you’re feeling right now. Those whys will haunt you, they'll terrorize you, break you. It'll hurt tremendously to know that there isn't a single thing in your long life that you could call completely your own.

 With every death today so many dreams are left unachieved, crazy things left unchecked on the bucket list, and unique potential left unexpressed.

DON'T let that be you. Please. I'm still a mess myself, struggling to reach class on time and studying subjects that aren't exactly fun, when all I want to do is create content (read: fireworks) that is at a level of insanity, influence folks to do better, hold crazy world tours and meet-and-greets to give hugs, and get an adorable puppy so I can create a dogstagram (yes, I'm that mom). Sure, I could declare it's too hard, hang onto small-minded and negative people who whine endlessly, and follow the crowd, getting lost in it, with ease.

But I won’t because I can’t take the burden of those regrets. That painful unrest and discontent that nothing could cure, not drugs, alcohol, buddies, not even true love. For then I’d be just another drone, my controller in the hands of society, forcing me to see the world through its eyes. I can’t give in because I’m scared, terrified even, of wasting away this one life doing the bidding of others- folks who won't even notice when I’m gone.

It’s easy to be depressed and crib your entire life. It’s easy to think you’re worthless and that trying is pointless since nothing ever goes your way.

But perhaps, if you rise, if you simply DECIDE to have the audacity to fight for what you believe in, if you work and focus on becoming better, things will go your way. Life will bend to you, in awe, at your incredible relentlessness. Life will take one look at you, wonder who the fuck is this person? How the fuck are they so incapable of giving up? And back right away. And then perhaps, life will be such a blast for you that depression would become the past you never had.

   I know you can get there, conqueror. It’s time you knew it too.

🌚🌝 Further reading? 🌝🌚

Last Post :— How To Get Back Into The Creative Process – For you, if you're in a creative rut. Get outta it and go create magic!

5 Reasons Why You're Unhappy — To help you identify & cut out CURRENT sources of sadness so that you can spice up yo’ life with some happiness instead. Definitely recommend reading AND implementing.

The Bubble Trap & How To Get Out Of It — One of my classics. Everyone is in one of these 'bubbles’ till they consciously do something about it; that's just how it is. Are you still in one? (Someone teach me marketing, lmao.)

The 5 Biggest Regrets of The Dying (from Greatist) — I LOVED reading this. Pretty much all you need to cut the crap and do meaningful stuff. Read it, memorize it, work it.

++ Want to request a blog post? Leave your request in my ask box! I'll get back to you with a reply, along with the average time I'll need to birth that magical idea.

Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure to have you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, I'd suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.

If you wanna check out my blog, here's a little something about me (y'all know I love the attention). What do I write about? Three arenas I dominate, Work, Lifestyle and Life, they are, my mate! Take your pick!

I post new blog posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if you're into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. I'll be your side pal, cheering you along.✨

And that was it, it's a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know you're pretending to be deaf, but Mom's yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.

And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope you're well, stay strong and go conquer life. ✧

I'm sending you so much love, see you soon.

— Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 9.2: Blue Ain’t (Usually) My Color

            [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Stretch learns a little bit more about everything: parentMOOD, funeral traditions, *what Edge is probably thinking.* But at least he knows how to move forward now!

Characters: Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans)& Blue (Underswap Sans)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Candid discussions of monster funerary traditions! Different monster cultural traditions between universes!  

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note: Additional cultural notes/elaborations available at the bottom so as to avoid spoilers! :)

“Me?!” Stretch gaped, unable to keep the surprised indignation out of his tone, “Me?!”

Before Red could say anything else, Blue kicked him under the table again, “Thank you for all that, Red!” Blue put his mouth literally against the side of his brother’s skull, saying as quietly as possible, “He’s an asshole but he’s right.”

Somehow, Red still heard him.  Still stuck his tongue out petulantly, but he was obviously flattered. Even if he kicked Blue under the table and steal his last biscotti. It was kinda cute.

Stretch shook his head free of that weird thought, focusing on his confused outrage, “What do you mean I’m freaking him out?!” Wait, he was the master of his emotions, he could ask this quietly and civilly! Think soothing thoughts, like clouds and kittens and successful science projects- “I mean, how am I putting Edge on... edge?” Hehe. “I’m doing my best to not do that?”

“Well,” Blue folded his hands under his chin, looking thoughtful, “Edge still has his intent sensitivity-“

“Parent sense!” Red chimed in helpfully, chewing noisily as he dunked his biscotti in the remaining half of Stretch’s coffee. He felt a deep pang of sadness, one that he couldn’t blame entirely on Pancake. He downed the rest of it before his brother-in-law could double-dunk.

“So, even if you tried to act like everything was fine, he would still be able to detect your intent.” Blue, trying so hard to be careful, was endearing and annoying, and it was a struggle to try and push those conflicting feelings away.

“‘N ya ain’t too good an actor!” Red swiped Blue’s mug, using the last sliver of biscotti to scrape whipped cream off the inside.

“You’re a great actor!” Blue assured him firmly, pointedly ignoring his obnoxious counterpart. “But the parentMOOD heightens your emotions, and makes it more... obvious when you are... troubled.”

“Saw ya lookin’ sad way aways.” Red had gotten a spoon from somewhere, and was using it to scrape up the dregs from his coffee cup,”‘N ya get lil’ poofs ‘a intent when yer moods swingin’.”

“Do- Do I really?!” Stretch couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So my stupid mood swings are undermining my best attempts to play it cool? And are straining my marriage?”

“Papy.” Blue was a very patient monster, but even he looked like he might be nearing his limit, “Your marriage is fine. Edge isn’t going to divorce you over being a little moody. He’s moody!”

“Yep.” Red was playing with the spoon now, trying to balance it on the tips of his claws, “S’not his style, ‘n Fell ain’t real big on ‘divorce. ‘Fore it got bad, Boss’d prolly kill ya ‘n put ya in an osario.”

“Oh.” Stretch wasn’t sure if he was comforted or alarmed by that tidbit. Blue looked horrified, so he probably should feel more like that. Weird. “What’s that?”

“Osario’s lotsa stuff- s’box thing. Glass ‘n shit. For ya? Mm... ‘Prolly a collar.” Red’s smile stretched wider at that reaction, voice nonchalant even as he watched Blue carefully. Out of the corner of his eye. “Touchy-feely bastard’ prolly carry ya around whole damn time, too. No inventori for ya, Honey.”

“WHAT?!” Blue was aghast, looking pale, so Stretch absolutely shouldn’t have felt a little flattered at that. And certainly not pleased. “Edge regularly carries...” Blue fidgeted, lowering his voice to a strained whisper, “Monster dust?”

“Before, yeah?” Red didn’t look like he quite understood the question, “Not now. Didn’t bring none here, don’t think.”

“WhY?!” Blue rubbed at his face, “Underfell is a terrible, vicious place, I know-“ Stretch winced at that, remembering Edge’s bitter sulk after the whole bar incident. Had his little meltdown over that whole will-death talk make his husband’s insecurities worse? “But what reason could any monster possibly have to carry that around?!”

“Sos ya can honor the dead, Baby Blue.” Red gave the other skeleton a sharp look, “What else ya gonna do? Stick ‘em up like a goddamn decoration? Psh. Ain’t nothin’ sadder than being goddamn forgotten.”

Oh nooooo, this was just a huge cultural misunderstanding. Edge wasn’t being macabre! He totally hurt his hubby’s feelings! On something Edge was already sensitive about! 

“I told you like a hundred times- that’s Undertale! In Underswap, everyone who knew them puts some of monster’s dust in a pot of soil!” Red and Blue were still going at it. “Then, you plant an echo flower seed and care for it until it blooms. Then, it will have your loved one’s voice, and it feels like you can talk to them! That’s the opposite of forgotten!”

“That’s fuckin’ creepy, man.” Red shuddered, making that peace-bless hand signal over all three of them. “Dust’s dust! It havin’ a Dusted’s magic color ‘n voice just ain’t right.”

“How is carrying your friend’s dust everywhere you go any less creepy?!” Blue threw his arms up. “At least you don’t actually see the dust on an echo flower, and it’s quietly tended to! At home!”

“‘Cause we ain’t pretendin’ they ain’t dusted! Fine, look, s’diff for diff monsters ‘n shit, but here’s how Edge’d do it-“ Oh noooo, it was cultural AND something personally important to Edge! Stretch put his head in his hands. Oh, he fucked up so bad. 

“Lil’ bit of dust s’given to whatever bastard wants it, yeah? Crown takes s lil’ dusted RG go in this lil’ medal thing, ‘n their put in...” Red made a face, struggling with the phrasing, “Patria... temple...? Some bullshit place, lotsa flowers ‘n ribbon ‘n shit, s’like ‘rememberin’ the fallen’ whatever.”

Red rubbed at his face like he was getting a headache, “S’long story, but as Cap’n he was wearin’ a diff osario a day. Come in Grillby’s, pour a lil’ rum out fer the Angel ‘n the Dusted ‘n down rest. ‘Everybody’d do it, too. ‘N we’d chat about ‘em, laugh ‘n just... remember.”

He sighed deeply, tone soft and melancholic, “Ain’t nothin’ scarier for Fell than thinkin’ yer life ain’t matter. That y’ain’t make no kind of mark on no one at all.”

Blue didn’t say anything at that, watching Red carefully with veiled pity. Or was that understanding? “I guess that doesn’t sound so terrible. It’s the same principle as our Memorial Echo tradition.” He smiled, “Knowing that your loved ones will keep you alive in their memories, even as they make new ones with a piece of you at their side. It seems like it would give some monsters peace of mind.”

Damn. Stretch hadn’t mentioned what he and Edge had actually ‘fought’ about! How did Red and Blue know?! There was no way this conversation hadn’t been orchestrated- it was way too creepily relevant! At the same time, Edge probably hadn’t told them. He was always saying ‘dirty laundry is done at home,’ so how...?

“Are you ok, Papy?” Blue looked concerned, reaching out to turn his face toward the light, “You’re looking a little pale-“

He pulled away, putting his brother’s hand back on the table. “I don’t know how you both know what you know,” Stretch started warily, eyeing them both suspiciously, “And it’s still creepy- but ok. I got your message. Loud and clear.”

              [Part 1] [Part 2 - Here!] [ Part 3 ]  

Notes/Clarification:

-Osario in English is "Ossuary," but for the purposes of Underfell culture, think of it more as a "reliquary." Those are these ornate containers for venerated objects in Catholicism, and come in a variety of shapes and sizes.

-Collar is a double entendre: it's like the dog collar kind in English, but in Spanish it's just a necklace.

- The saying in spanish is, "La ropa sucia se lava en casa," or "Dirty laundry is washed at home." Meaning you don't air dirty laundry/family issues and stuff in front of people. 

-Underswap monster funerals: Echo flowers are a memorial flower, and because they're magical flowers, soil infused with monster dust gives them that monster's voice! They'll echo back whatever you tell them in the voice of the deceased, so it's customary to keep them at home and just... talk to them, hear the things you miss the most. "I love you" is the usual phrase of choice. They're pretty hardy flowers, so they live for as long as they're cared for.

[ask-swapfell-skelebros]

The First meeting with the swapfell skelebros

???: "Human. Don’t you know how to treat your new pal?

Just hand over your filthy wad of money, that’s all it takes.”

*You hand over your money to the mysterious being.

SF!Papyrus: “…? What. That’s all you’ve got? Darn it, today’s the worst. Make sure you carry around some more next time, ya little snotface. Anyways, you are human, right? I can’t believe one actually had managed to come out from…there. I’m Papyrus. Papyrus the Skeleton. I’m supposed to be looking for humans, but…Ya know. I can’t really be bothered. I really don’t care what happens to this place as long as I get my money. But my brother… ‘Sans’, he’s a human-hunting maniac. He’s gonna be running down here yelling at any moment, I’m pretty sure.

Hey bucko, not that I care if you die or not, but how bout I hide you from him for a while? It’s not going to be for free, though. Maybe helping you like this will make it up for giving me all that money just now? Here, if you wanna make the deal, cross this bridge.”

(A giant boulder falls and destroys the bridge as both Papyrus and Chara crosses to the other side of the bridge)

*You feel streams of cold sweat running down your back.

SF!Papyrus: “Oh, I haven’t told you about the traps, have I. There’s gonna be heaps more of these on the way. Quick, hide behind the sentry station, would ya.”

(You do just that)

“Sup, Sans.”

SF!SANS: "DON’T !!!!!!!!! ‘SUP’ ME, PAPYRUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN’T YOU SEE THAT THE BRIDGE’S BEEN BROKEN? WAS IT YOU WHO’D TOUCHED THE TRAPS?! YOU IDIOT!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THE REGULAR MAINTENANCE ON IT, NOT BREAK IT!! ALL YOU DO IS SMOKE ALL DAY AND MESS THINGS UP FOR ME, PAPYRUS! AND JUST LOOK AT YOUR SICKLY, YELLOWING BONES!”

SF!Papyrus: “Dude, I bet I’m gonna live for so long at this rate, my bones are turning into gold. Nye-heh.”

SF!SANS: “UGH, THAT’S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING FUNNY, PAPS!!! AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING JUST THEN, YOU WERE SMOKING LIKE A HOUSE ON FIRE AGAIN, WEREN’T YOU???”

SF!Papyrus: “No not at all, bro. I was gonna smoke over there at the sentry station.”

SF!SANS: “FOR HECK’S SAKE! IF YOU’VE GOT TIME FOR THAT, GO CLEAR THAT BOULDER AND FIX THE TRAPS, YOU SCUM! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH???! DON’T YOU DARE TARNISH MY REPUTATION BY LETTING THEM ESCAPE, PAPYRUS! I AM THE BEST! I MUST BE THE BEST! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! AND I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, WILL RISE TO THE TOP WHERE EVERYONE WILL LOOK UPON ME WITH THEIR UTMOST RESPECT!! MORE HONOUR….MORE RECOGNITION…I WILL FINALLY FULLFIL MY DREAM OF BECOMING A ROYAL GUARD! SERIOUSLY, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM STILL NOT ACCEPTED TO THE ROYAL GUARD. EVERYONE OBVIOUSLY FEARS AND OBEYS THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, SO WHY???”

SF!Papyrus: “Um, prolly cuz you always get into troubles.”

SF!SANS: “WHAT?! YOU ARE THE ONE CAUSING ALL THE TROUBLES, YOU ROTTENING BAG OF BONES! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY HARDSHIPS! YOU REEK AND I DON’T EVEN WANT TO GO NEAR YOU!!!!”

SF!Papyrus: “But we don’t even have noses, Sans.”

SF!SANS: “GAH!!!(*DISGUSTED SKELETON NOISES*)”

SF!Papyrus: “Chillax, dude. It’s true tho, right?”

SF!SANS: “IT IS AND I HATE IT!!! SIGH… WHY DOES SOMEONE AS MAGNIFICENT AS ME…HAVE TO GET NEGLECTED LIKE THIS?”

SF!Papyrus: “Well, you ARE pretty violent. You literally beat up any monsters that you come across.

I bet they are all scared…and…

…rattling their bones…”

SF!SANS: “GAH!!!!!!!! I’M HAVING A POUNDING HEADACHE JUST TALKING TO YOU!!!”

SF!Papyrus: “Zowie, that’s BONKers.”

SF!SANS: “SCREW YOU PAPYRUS!!!!!!!!!I’M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!”

[Sans goes off-stage]

SF!Papyrus: “You can come out now, snotface. Oh you look pale, did ya hafta hold your breath cuz of the smoke? I don’t know how that feels cuz I’m just a skelee.”

* You tell him that the smell of rotting sandwiches was killing you more than the smoke did.

SF!Papyrus: “Oh damn, I forgot about those again. Sans made those. Those are uh…you know. Those taste like cheese stuck between dirty socks. Would you believe me if I told you those smell like fruits, when freshly served? He makes me eat that garbage EVERYDAY. I don’t understand how he can suck so much at making something so basic.

Oh, got a little distracted, haven’t we.

Welp, I did your money’s worth. You should get going. He might come back. And when he sees you then, he will decapitate you. You wouldn’t want that to happen, aye?”

(And just as you try to enter the next map…)

SF!Papyrus: “Um actually… the area beyond this point is full of traps because Sans is in charge. You are most likely going to die if you take a step there. How bout I guide you to a shortcut? Not for free, obviously.

Howzaboutit?”

[aces-miild]

Familiar Fell - Chapter One

Sans waits just inside city limits. His hands are deep in his pockets, his clawed fingers picking anxiously at the seams. He grinds his pointed teeth, a deep frown taking the place of his usual grin. Red-tinted sweat beads on his skull, and his good eye is illuminated, watching the struggle taking place just beyond the rolling hills.

Beside him stands his friend - though he would hesitate to call her so out loud - the esteemed inventor Doctor Alphys. She wrings her scaly hands, concern rendering her unable to speak.

So, they wait in silence as a small crowd - humans and monsters alike - whisper fearfully around them. They watch the distant light of magic as attack after attack rains down over the hillside just north of Ebott City, spears and bones alike striking the dry summer earth.

A strangled roar rings out, the last cry of the dying. The attacks cease, and the gathered citizens let out a collective sigh of relief as a massive amount of dust rises on the evening breeze, sparkling in the setting sun. Beside him, Alphys shivers.

As the crowd dissipates, Sans glances over his shoulder at the city, and the damage the beast had done before being led out into the hillside. Ruined streets, crushed cars, destroyed storefronts. Sans would never have guessed that a monster like Aaron could wreak such havoc. 

Then again, the creature that had rampaged through the city hadn’t really been Aaron, but a vicious, destructive creature - a huge horse-like abomination with a powerful fish tail capable of leveling buildings with a single swipe. It was like something out of a nightmare. 

Such transformations weren’t unheard of. The news reported stories of monsters Turning, becoming overwhelmed by rage and transforming into savage beasts bent on destruction. It was becoming more and more common. This was, however, the first time Sans had seen it happen in person. 

Guess that creep got turned down one too many times, Sans assumed, having trouble coming up with anything else that would piss Aaron off enough to turn into...that. 

Sans returns his attention to the hills in time to see the City Guard making their way back. He recognizes the silhouette of the Captain, Undyne. She trudges along, footsteps dragging as she supports the weight of Sans’s brother Papyrus. Despite looking worse for wear, the two appear to be in high spirits, no doubt proud of their victory. A pack of wolfish monsters surrounds them, whooping and howling, their laughter carrying over the dry land. 

Alphys, anxious to be reunited with her wife, rushes to meet the Guard halfway. 

Undyne lets go of Papyrus in favor of lifting her tiny wife into the air in a celebratory embrace. They share a too-long kiss, leaving Papyrus to collapse to his knees from exhaustion. In an instant, Sans is at his brother’s side.

“ya good, bro? ya look a little pale,” Sans jokes, trying to hide his concern. Though things had been peaceful since monsters settled on the surface, Sans had yet to fully move past the kill-or-be-killed mentality he picked up in the Underground. Caring about others, even his own little brother, was still something he struggled to outwardly show, for fear that it would be exploited.    

“I Am Fine...Just...A Bit...Winded,” the younger skeleton responded between gasping breaths. Sans had never seen him this worn out. 

“S-so, it’s o-over?” Alphys asks, glancing in the direction of the still-drifting dust.  

Undyne nods her head solemnly. “I wish it didn’t have to end like that,” she admits, much to Sans’s surprise. The old Undyne would’ve revelled in such a battle, but now all he sees in the fish monster’s eyes is regret. He guesses that having to kill your former neighbor - no matter how big a creep - really took away from the thrill of the fight. 

We’ve really been spoiled up here, haven’t we?

Undyne places her tiny wife back onto solid ground, and the other members of the guard start to head back into the city to begin working on repairs. Sans offers to help his brother stand, but Papyrus’s pride gets in the way. He lifts himself on unsteady legs, ready to join the others, but Undyne stops him, putting a hand on his armor-clad shoulder. 

“Go home, bonehead. You took on more than your fair share of that fight...go get some rest,” she has an uncharacteristically sympathetic look on her rugged, battle-scarred face. 

“I’m Fine, Captain.” Papyrus attempts to get out of her grip, but fails miserably, easily kept in place by his superior’s incredible strength.

“Get. Some. Rest. That’s an order, punk!” She commands with a good-natured, though tired, smile. She releases his shoulder and punches him, sending him reeling back a bit.  

Papyrus considers this for a moment, then straightens his posture. “Far Be It For Me To Ignore An Order From My Captain,” he states. Then, much quieter, “Or The Advice Of A Friend.” He turns to Sans. “Shall We, Brother?” He asks, resting a hand on the shorter skeleton’s shoulder.

“sure thing, boss,” Sans replies.

The two disappear in the blink of an eye.  

--

As usual, Sans rises late the following day, only leaving his room to refuel on junk food. It’s already two in the afternoon, and Sans expects to see his brother flitting around the house doing chores, or at least a note telling Sans that he’s gone out. 

But the house is silent, and the door to Papyrus’s room is still shut tight. Sans knocks on it lightly, “hey bro, you in there?” Sans hopes his brother is just going over some combat strategies with his figurine collection. 

There’s no answer.

Cautiously, Sans opens the door and looks around his brother’s room. Once, back in Snowdin, he never would’ve dared to enter his brother’s room uninvited. The Papyrus that existed in the Underground would’ve had his head for invading his privacy like that. But now, after a few years of family therapy, the brothers were on much better terms. 

At first, he doesn’t see anything of note. All of Papyrus’s possessions are where they should be, immaculately organized, not a single item out of place. Then, he sees his brother, still asleep in bed. 

“it’s gettin’ pretty late, paps…” Sans says, walking over to the bed. “You should prolly eat somethin’.”

No response. 

Panic flares in Sans’s soul. Papyrus was a notoriously light sleeper, even when exhausted. Sans reaches a hand out and shakes his brother, hoping that the taller skeleton won’t be too pissed off at being woken up so abruptly. 

Nothing.

Sans shakes his brother harder, calling and then shouting his name again and again, to no avail. He takes a step back, breathing heavily. His good eye lights up, and he scans his brother, checking his stats. 

AT: 50

DF: 30

HP: .5/100

Sans collapses to his knees, reeling from the realization. It can’t be...he can’t be... 

Papyrus, his little brother, the only family Sans has ever known...has fallen.

--

Alphys was Sans’s only hope. He knew about her experiments with Determination - he’d had a hand in them, way back when. If he could just get a small sample of whatever was left over, surely he could wake Papyrus. 

But when he showed up at the lab, all Alphys could offer were her condolences. “I’m s-sorry, Sans. There’s n-nothing I can do…” she turned her back, unable to face him, and fidgeted with some papers on her desk. “Experimentation on monsters - awake or fallen - is illegal. You know that.”

“never stopped ya before,” he muttered in response. 

“I was p-protected by the King before.” She sighs, and adjusts her glasses. “I can’t give you any D.T., anyway. Once the b-barrier was broken, I disposed of the leftover materials. Best not to have that kind of t-temptation laying around...You’ve seen what curiosity does to me.”

Drives her insane. Up-the-wall. Completely bonkers. “yeah. makes ya do some real mad scientist shit.” 

“Exactly. I have a new reputation I’d like to cultivate,” she hesitates, then asks, “Are you going t-to t-tell Undyne, or…?”

“i was gonna hold off. not sure i want her tryin’ to help out.” Sans was pretty sure she wouldn’t take it well, and he didn’t want her barging into his house and roughing up his already unstable brother in an attempt to wake him by force. 

Alphys nods solemnly. “I’ll wait a few days before I bring it up.”

“thanks, al.”

“I wish I could do m-more for you. For Papyrus…”

“yeah. me too,” he says bitterly as he turns to leave. As the automatic door to the lab shuts behind him, one of the guards outside - an old buddy from the Wolf Guard back in Snowdin - speaks up.

“M’sorry ta hear ‘bout Papyrus…” Doggo says, not quite making eye contact. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but, well...ya know how it is.” He did. Doggo had come a long way since being blinded; his other senses had improved to compensate for the loss.

Sans had nothing to say. He simply nodded at his old drinking buddy and prepared to teleport home.

“If ya just wait a second, Sans, I got a suggestion for ya.”

“what?” Sans all but growled, narrowing his eyes at the meddling mutt.

“Well, ya know how my old man fell ‘bout six months back?”

“yeah, what of it?”

For what it was worth, Doggo completely ignored the skeleton’s aggressive tone, and simply kept on with his explanation. “Well, my mom took ‘im to this lady livin’ in the woods...a witch. Monsters’ve been goin’ there with their fallen for a while. She’s got a bunch just sleepin’ in her house...she takes care of ‘em, y’see. Keeps ‘em from dustin’ ‘til their families are ready to say goodbye.”

Sans didn’t want to hear more. He didn’t even want to consider that Papyrus might never wake up. 

“i ain’t takin’ my bro to some crackpot witch, dog-breath.” 

“Hold on, now, m’not done. See, she doesn’t just keep ‘em from dustin’. Nah, she’s also got a reputation for wakin’ up the fallen. I don’t really know much about it m’self, but she might be able to help ya.” Doggo looks off into the distance with his unseeing eyes. “Might be worth your while ta take a trip over there, y’know? Just to see if there’s anythin’ she can do.”

[djduskie]

ANSWER ALL OF THEM!!!! A L L O F T H E M! ! ! !

JFC WOMAN THAT’S 216 BLOODY QUESTIONS IN A ROW

ALRIGHTY THEN but I’m gonna put it under a Read More cause... yea, this is gonna get long I bet

1: My name?

My full name is Marissa Leigh Bell, but... that’s just a dumb name honestly and the initials are literally MLB

2: Do I have any nicknames?

Yes, and that is obviously Dusk! Or DJ Dusk, or Midnight... 

My IRL nicknames however are stupid. There’s Rissy, Rissa, Rissa Roo (one of my hospital techs call me that...), Sissy... they’re all dumb and I’m the only one who gets nicknames.

3: Zodiac sign?

Libra~!!

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win?

Hmm...  suppose that’ll have to be Starbound!! I often times like to open up Starbound and just find some new goals, whether it be item finding on achievement hunting. I guess another game I like to do is osu!, but I dunno how chill I am on that game pff

5: Book/series I reread?

Honestly, the ONLY readable thing I ever would reread is the one and only book I ever liked; And Then There Were None by Agatha Christine

6: Aliens or ghosts?

Ghosts, defiantly~!! I even have my very own EVP recorder!

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?

I... don’t honestly read that many things except for like, online game journalists. Which I don’t even know if they count. (And if they do, then I’d say Jim Sterling since he’s a funny guy)

8: Favourite radio station?

None cause I hate listening to the radio

9: Favourite flavour of anything?

Prolly chocolate! Chocolate’s always a good flavour for most things~

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great?

“Amazing”, usually pff

11: Favourite song?

WHAT KINDA IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION IS THIS I CAN’T ANSWER THIS

I guess my all-time favourite song is “BAD APPLE !!”, but I also really like “Hip Hop Addict” and “Furioso Melodia”!

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better?

Well first, I’ll need to find a new friend, and I haven’t had a new friend in literal years

13: Favourite word?

I did originally write down “friggin”, but as I was answering everything else, I realized how often I use “prick”, so prolly that

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them?

Prolly not, since I’m a salty prick who can hold grudges for years.

15: Last song I listened to?

“Reconstructing Science” from the Portal 2 OST (It’s so good!!)

16: TV show I always recommend?

I don’t watch TV, like, ever... so I’ll just say Futurama since it’s one of the very few TV shows I actually like

17: Pirates or ninjas?

Ninjas all the way!!

18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down?

I don’t watch movies all that often either actually... maybe “Muppet Treasure Island” since I watched that movie ALL the time

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song?

It depends on if I found a new favourite song for the moment, but it usually has been Markiplier’s “Five Night’s at Freddy’s: Night 2″ song he did for Random Encounter~

20: Favourite video games?

HOO BOI 

Touhou Project, Undertale, OFF, Oneshot, Starbound, Splatoon, and osu! just to name a few

21: What am I most afraid of?

Honestly? Losing everyone I love (and I already lost one of them)

22: A good quality of mine?

...Do I have any?? pfff

Um... I guess the fact that I can often times be fairly kind and understanding?? Like, I don’t actually like to be such a salty lil prick (unless I’m conversing with a complete idiot of course)

23: A bad quality of mine?

Literally everything else HA

No seriously tho, I am the JUDGIEST prick around when it comes to interests. Like, there’s a reason why I have VERY little interests when it comes to games and why I just about never watch TV (it took a LOT of convincing to even get me to watch SU)

24: Cats or dogs?

CATS without question

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in?

Uhh... prolly Will Smith? I dunno I legit don’t pay attention to actors that much

26: Favourite season?

DEFIANTLY Autumn! It’s the season I was born in, the colours are so damn beautiful, it has Halloween, and it has some of my favourite aesthetics!

27: Am I in a relationship?

No, and honestly (even tho I tried to peruse one) I kinda don’t wanna be in one

28: Something I miss?

I miss the times when I was young, where I didn’t worry about my illness and I was just.. happy about everything. I was so positive back then.

29: My best friend?

The one and only @evils-corner, of course~!!

30: Eye colour?

Green! Though I was told it’s kinda saturated

31: Hair colour?

Dirty blonde at this point

32: Someone I love?

In... terms of romantically? No one. Platonically there’s quite the few

33: Someone I trust?

Prolly my couple friends, honestly pff

34: Someone I always think about?

Uhh how much I honestly hate being so ill all the time

35: Am I excited about anything?

Not... really

36: My current obsession?

Currently I’ve been in a Fire Emblem drive, but I’ve also once again been deep down in Touhou Hell (The obsession shifts to OFF and Undertale sometimes too)

37: Favourite TV shows as a child?

Futurama! Even tho that’s a TV show not really for kids, who cares I watched it anyways

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to?

ABSOLUTELY not. I’ve never had a male friend in my life I don’t think

39: Am I superstitious?

Not really? I like to believe there are such things as karma or “bad luck”, and I’m a huge believer in fate! I even have a green Lucky Cat sitting on my windowsill for good health!

40: What do I think about most?

Read question 34

41: Do I have any strange phobias?

STRANGE phobias? I don’t think so...

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

Defiantly behind the camera

43: Favourite hobbies?

Drawing!! Tied with gaming and sometimes piano playing~

44: Last book I read?

And Then There Were None like, years ago

45: Last film I watched?

“The Hunchback of Notre Dame”! I never watched that movie before, and after hearing the song “Hellfire”, I was super interested in watching it. (Does that count?)

46: Do I play any instruments?

Yes, I play piano! Not that very well, but I do play it.

47: Favourite animal?

MMMMMMM it’s a three-way tie between bats, snakes, and turtles

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow?

Yo, I just follow my friends and some other dumb blogs and that’s it, I don’t really have a top 5 fave pff

49: Superpower I wish I could have?

Hmm, it’s either telekinesis, or the power to turn my creations (original characters) to life!! Imagine having my OCs help take care of me and help me...

50: How do I destress?

Aside from crying, I’d either watch a YouTube video to distract me, or I’d draw

51: Do I like confrontation?

Who the fuck does

52: When do I feel most at peace?

Usually on a nice rainy day, where the sky is a nice shade of grey and the rain is pouring, but not heavily. And it’s around 1 PM.

53: What makes me smile?

Talking to my friends, really~ 

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off?

Off, unless I start getting paranoid (which happens sometimes when I’m at home), then I’ll either keep my laptop screen open or I’ll full out keep the lights on.

55: Play any sports?

Nope.avi

56: What is my song of the week?

This song right here! It’s an EastNewSound song, and it’s SUPER catchy!

57: Favourite drink?

Pink lemonade, prolly!

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody?

Damn, that was prolly like... fuckin YEARS ago.

59: Afraid of heights?

You bet!

60: Pet peeve?

As dumb as this sounds (and I’m not even sure this counts), but... opened doors. If I’m in my room or in a hospital room (which I am right now), I CANNOT have a door opened. It just... disturbs me. Even when I’m at home alone I cannot have that door opened.

61: What was the last concert I went to see?

I’ve never been to a concert.

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?

No, cause doing any of those would kill me since I NEED meat. (All you vegan pricks who whine and say EVERYONE can go vegan no matter what: fucking come at me)

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger?

I wanted to be a veterinarian for a while... then that just sorta stopped. I think I then wanted to just work for a zoo, which to this day I think would be neat

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy?

Kinda? My brother’s ex-girlfriend used to be a friend of mind before I... for some reason started being a lil bitch to her and we just cut ties. I really wanna apologize to her now, tho.

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?

I wanna live in friggin Gensokyo!! And if I can’t be a yokai, then I’ll just happily live in the Human Village. Bro people fly and shoot lazors at others for fun there

66: Something I worry about?

Read question 21

67: Scared of the dark?

ONLY if I get unreasonably paranoid. Otherwise, not anymore. I used to be a long time ago due to one dream where I looked over to my toy shelf and saw a full blown skeleton hanging off of it.

68: Who are my best friends?

@evils-corner! (IRL, of course. I have a few others online!)

69: What do I admire most about others?

If anything, I’m just envy at everyone who isn’t sick

70: Can I sing?

HA

no

71: Something I wish I could do?

I wish I could walk/run/do literally ANYTHING without getting horribly worn out or have a bad coughing fit. It’d make so many things easier.

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do?

TO JAPAN!

73: Have I ever skipped school?

For no particular reason? I don’t think so. Tho there was one time my mother allowed me to sleep in til 1 PM on a school day cause I fell down the stairs and landed on my tailbone, causing me to just about jam my back. I was in a lotta pain, and on top of that I had sinus issues, so... eh

74: Favourite place on the planet?

No idea! I don’t travel to many places

75: Where do I want to live?

As prolly awful it would be to live in, I’d really love to live in a really forest-y area with creeks and waterfalls and just a lotta flora.

76: Do I have any pets?

Currently no, due to the owners of the house we are renting forbidding any pets.

77: What is my current desktop picture?

78: Early bird or night owl?

Both? Kinda? Recently it’s been night owl due to my terrible sleeping schedule. But I can and have woken up very early!

79: Sunsets or sunrise?

Neither cause none of them are appealing

80: Can I drive?

NOPE and I’m too scared to

81: Story behind my last kiss?

There is none

82: Earphones or headphones?

Headphones all the way!!

83: Have I ever had braces?

Nope

84: Story behind one of my scars?

Hm.. well I have this small oval shaped scar on my left hand!

 I was at the dentist and they were doing a root canal. Now, I have naturally long nails, and my one nervous tick is that I scratch. I’ll scratch myself if I have nothing to scratch, and that was the case when they were doing the root canal. I scratch subconsciously, so I have NO idea I’m causing damage. So I was scratching my left hand in one stop consistently, and thankfully the dentist assistant noticed and got me some stress balls to scratch on. Sadly tho the area scabbed really badly, and thus led to scarring.

85: Favourite genre of music?

Video game OSTs!! Or techno

86: Who is my hero?

My brother, Jonathon

87: Favourite comic book character?

I don’t read comic books

88: What makes me really angry?

Vegans.

Look I honestly have nothing against the concept of not eating meat/anything animal related cause you don’t wanna eat a previously living thing. I really don’t mind! You do you. But it’s the goddamn vegans that are the most PREACHIEST buggers that I swear to god sound like a cult, talking about “carnists” and how they “can’t see the TRUTH with how cruel they are” and just be so holier-than-thou PRICKS

Basically, as long as you aren’t telling me how to live my life and being fuckin rude cause I can’t see the “””truth”””, I have no problem with you. Otherwise, we’re gonna have problems. End of rant

89: Kindle or real book?

Kindles are nice cause you don’t have to deal with keeping the bloody book opened

90: Favourite sporty activity?

I... don’t have one I don’t think pff

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be?

I don’t fuckin know?? I haven’t been in a public school since 5th grade I don’t know shit when it comes to schools

92: What was my favourite subject at school?

Art, prolly. In homeschool tho I did Japanese, and I still do that on my own time!

93: Siblings?

I had my older brother Jonathon, who died when he was 19, and I have a little sister name Erica who is currently 16~

94: What was the last thing I bought?

$13 worth of micro-transactions on FE Heroes (23 Orbs, weren’t worth it)

95: How tall am I?

4′10″

96: Can I cook?

No, but I wanna learn!

97: Can I bake?

Kinda?

98: 3 things I love?

1. My sister

2. My friends

3. Bats

99: 3 things I hate?

1. Vegans

2. Cystic Fibrosis

3. S p i d e r s

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?

Girls pff

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys?

Giirrllss

102: Where was I born?

Miamisburg, Ohio

103: Sexual orientation?

I used to be Asexual Aromantic, but now it’s Homosexual and Asexual

104: Where do I currently live?

Kansas! Boring ass place

105: Last person I texted?

My mother~

106: Last time I cried?

Two hours ago

107: Guilty pleasure?

Listening to REALLY stupid rap/ghetto songs (they’re so catchy but I hate the lyrics pff)

108: Favourite Youtuber?

Man I can’t just choose one... I guess right now my favourite is this Youtube channel called Night Mind! If you’re interested in ARGs and other creepy webseries, PLEASE check him out, he has an amazing voice and he’s great at explaining stuff

109: A photo of myself.

have a low quality selfie

110: Do I like selfies?

are you fuckin mocking me right now

the answer is No btw

111: Favourite game app?

Neko Atsume, prolly

112: My relationship with my parents?

With my mother, it’s... fair. She pisses me the HELL off sometimes, but I know she tries, despite what my negative self says. With my father, well... he’s no father to me. I want nothing to do with him.

113: Favourite accents?

British accents are nice, and due to me listening to WAY too many British people, I end up talking like them

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit?

SOMEWHERE in Japan

115: Favourite number?

3! Cause 3 is the magical number~ (and 4, and I have no idea why I like 4)

116: Can I juggle?

Hell no

117: Am I religious?

Nope, I’m agnostic~

118: Do I like space?

Uh, I like looking at the stars? But space in general, no. It terrifies me

119: Do I like the deep ocean?

I love seeing what terrifying creatures lay in the deep ocean! I always wonder to myself if man was ever supposed to traverse and discover what lies in the ocean...

120: Am I much of a daredevil?

Noooot really

121: Am I allergic to anything?

Yes! I am allergic to nickel (the material, causes rashes), Vancomycn (everyone gets the normal allergy of Red Man’s, but I go further and turn into a tomato, and also get fevers and lose oxygen), HYDROmorphone (A strong pain killer that lead to me getting immediately sick and not breathing), and Flucanozole (A yeast infection medication that causes me hives)

122: Can I curl my tongue?

Yes! And I love mocking my sister with it cause she can’t~

123: Can I wiggle my ears?

Nnnooooo?

124: Do I like clowns?

NOPE

125: The Beatles or Elvis?

Boi, I grew up with The Beatles!! My favourite song of their’s is “Eleanor Rigby”!

126: My current project?

Don’t think I have one at the moment. I’m busy dealing with a commission

127: Am I a bad loser?

I defiantly try not to be! I’d like to think I have gotten better.

128: Do I admit when I wrong?

Once again, I defiantly try! 

129: Forest or beach?

Forest!!

130: Favourite piece of advice?

I legit can’t remember any of ‘em right now pff

131: Am I a good liar?

Yea, almost to the point where I can be kiinda manipulative... Not gonna lie (no pun intended), it’s a trait I really don’t like about myself

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district?

Fuckin, uh... Ravenclaw/That One Faction/and District 5

i know NOTHING of either of those can’tcha tell

133: Do I talk to myself?

Not often, but if I’m feeling relaxed and I’m playing a game, I will sometimes quietly talk to myself

134: Am I very social?

NOOOPE

135: Do I like gossip?

I personally don’t like to gossip, but I can’t help but listen in

136: Do I keep a journal/diary?

I used to! I have a whole journal filled out from me trying to do Daily Entries, but almost halfway through the second journal I just fell out

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test?

I don’t think so!

138: Do I believe in second chances?

Only if the first chance wasn’t something so major I’d wouldn’t even think about it

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do?

Try to locate any place that would potentially be able to keep it in case the owner comes by!

140: Do I believe people are capable of change?

Of course! A person could change every single day, that’s just how life works. Change is drastic, scary, and necessary.

141: Have I ever been underweight?

Eh, only my entire life (I’m currently 15 lbs. underweight)

142: Am I ticklish?

Not really!

143: Have I ever been in a submarine?

No, and I NEVER want to

144: Have I ever been on a plane?

Nope! I may one day tho~

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family?

I dunno, but there’s a good chance a film about my life wouldn’t even make it past production

146: Have I ever been overweight?

HAAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA

147: Do I have any piercings?

No, cause most piercings are made of nickel, which I cannot wear

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real?

Sssshiiit... hm... There’s like, so many Touhou characters I’d prolly wish were real

149: Do I have any tattoos?

No, but I plan on maybe getting one in the future!

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far?

Prolly choosing to join the deviantART group, PMD-E, since that experience has basically kickstarted a lotta things for me

151: Do I believe in Karma?

I dunno, I never really think about it much...

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts?

I have glasses, but I never wear ‘em pff

153: What was my first car?

My very first car was this imaginary black car that I just made up literal seconds ago! It wasn’t the most impressive car, but I don’t give a shit about cars

154: Do I want children?

Well, there’s a 99.9% chance having a child could potentially kill me due to my thin and frail body, so if I EVER find a mate (which I won’t), I’d maybe adopt like, one kid.

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know?

My lil cousin who’s like... I think  6-7?? And that lil guy knows Spanish, is learning French, knows about countries none of us has ever heard about, can tell you every and any capital of any state, and that’s only to name a few. Dude’s a miniature Einstein I tell ya

156: My most embarrassing memory?

Honestly, I’ve made it a point to throw every embarrassing memory out the window, so I’m actually blanking right now

157: What makes me nostalgic?

Old website games like Club Penguin (rest in pepperonis) and Webkinz gets me pretty nostalgic anytime I play ‘em, cause they were just such a huge part of my childhood

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter?

Yes and it’s fucking awful

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty?

Prolly brains cause I really don’t care about beauty or looks

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe?

Greyscales

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience?

Loads of times! We speculate that we currently have 2 ghosts in our house, one of ‘em Jonathon and the other potentially a 16-17 year old boy who used to live in the house

162: What do I hate most about myself?

Uhhh read question 131

163: What do I love most about myself?

Not much, honestly

164: Do I like adventure?

I’d love to! But I can’t ever travel, so...

165: Do I believe in fate?

Absolutely!! Fate has brought me and one of my best friends together! I am a huge believer in fate

166: Favourite animal?

Read question 47

167: Have I ever been on radio?

No, but that’d be cool!

168: Have I ever been on TV?

Same as above

169: How old am I?

Such a generic question so late in the questionnaire... I’m 17!

170: One of my favourite quotes?

A personal quote I made myself:

“The problem is that we don’t know what the problem is.”

171: Do I hold grudges?

Absolutely

172: Do I trust easily?

Depends on the situation I think

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes?

I’d like to believe I have learnt from quite a few!

174: Best gift I’ve ever received?

Hmm... I think my Wii U!

175: Do I dream?

WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T

176: Have I ever had a night terror?

No and I hope to gods I never do cause they sound horrible

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind?

Not really, which pisses me off... 

178: An experience that has made me stronger?

I don’t think I had one..

179: If I were immortal, what would I do?

Go to Japan! Then cry forever cause being immortal has to be the worst punishment ever

180: Do I like shopping?

HELLL no

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do?

Prolly steal a nice Wacom Cintiq pff

182: What does “family” mean to me?

Family means... I dunno I don’t think about this much

183: What is my spirit animal?

I dunno! Never bothered to check. I’d say a bat cause wynaut

184: How do I want to be remembered?

I wanna be remembered as the person who made that One Cool Webcomic

or as DJ Dusk who made awesome music

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose?

Learn how to make music, maybe. Either that or master Japanese

186: What is my greatest failure?

My whole life HA

Seriously tho, prolly me giving up on school

187: What is my greatest achievement?

I don’t think I have one yet

188: Love or money?

Fuck love gimme money

at least I can get things to make me happy with money

189: Love or career?

Well since I cannot have a career, in this instance love wins

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?

I actually have no idea. Like, I can’t think of what I’d do.

191: What makes me the happiest?

Being with my friend? I dunno, I haven’t been happy in quite a while..

192: What is “home” to me?

The house I currently live in. It doesn’t have much a meaning anymore considering how often I’m in the hospital

193: What motivates me?

Nothing!

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be?

I feel like I’d want to say something super petty, but... I’d prolly say something like “I hope to see you soon”, like I’d be ghostie or somethin’

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens?

PROLLLY not

196: A movie that scared me as a child?

I dunno but there was this one Batman movie, and there was this scene where this girl took a punch of plushies and stabbed them and threw ‘em in a garbage disposal and that was absolutely upsetting to me cause I have a huge love for plushies

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now?

Lasagna

198: Zombies or vampires?

VAMPIRES YO

199: Live in the city or suburbs?

City, I guess?

200: Dragons or wizards?

DRAGONS

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me?

The first nightmare I ever had was me and a couple of neighborhood kids just hanging out in front of my house on the driveway, and for some reason my church priest or whatever was there? And for NO REASON a truck comes and runs him over, and black guts spewed everywhere and his scream still haunts me to this day

It was a fucked up dream

202: How do I define love?

Love honestly is just the strong feeling of trust and compassion you have for another. I dunno much about romantic/sexual love, since I’ve never experienced it tho

203: Do I judge a book by its cover?

Absolutely, much to my detriment 

204: Have I ever had my heart broken?

No, and I may never will

205: Do I like my handwriting?

Not really, no

206: Sweet or savoury?

Sweet, I guess!

207: Worst job I’ve had?

I’ve never had a job

208: Do I collect anything?

Turtle plushies and such! Dunno why

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without?

My treble clef necklace that holds a part of Jon’s ashes

210: What is on my bucket list?

To go to Japan!

211: How do I handle anger?

Uuuh I don’t. I cry for an hour until it blows off

212: Was I named after anyone?

Apparently I was named after Marissa Tomei

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot?

Literally like all the time

214: What TV character am I most like?

No idea! I don’t watch TV

215: What is the weirdest talent I have?

Uh... on my left foot I can raise my pinkie toe?

216: Favourite fictional character?

Either Komachi Onozuka or Satori Komeji from Touhou

AND THAT’S ALL OF ‘EM

SCREW YOU EVIL. I LOVE YA BUT HONESTLY SCREW YOU